The Drunken Dane

On Beer Wars - Part 3: Greg

2011-05-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

Stone Brewing has always had a special place in my heart. Any brewery that names a beer Arrogant Bastard is good in my book. They also have some really cool bomber designs and they just make good beer. Not a lot to complain about. So when I saw that the owner, Greg Koch (I wonder if he's related to Jim?) was one of the stars of Beer Wars, I knew I was in for a treat. Or something. This is kind of an awkward opening. Onwards.
I love the motivation Greg has for making his beer. To paraphrase him, after drinking fizzy yellow beer for a while and realizing it was robbing him of taste, he was angry. I don't know if he thinks he makes angry beer, but I definitely do. He is not afraid of hops and flavor punching the drinker in the mouth hard enough to have them coming back for another. Maybe it's a phase, but I love the strong flavors he uses. Sure, he may not have beers that appeal to everyone, but according to Stone's facebook page, they start brewing 24/7 on Monday to keep up with demand, so I'd say he's doing alright.

It seems like Greg is almost the bizarro Jim Koch, but only in the good ways. Jim seems to not care a ton about the big breweries and Greg appears to be in an all out war against them. Jim makes easier drinking east coast styles, Greg makes the hoppier and harsher west coast stuff. I'd really like to see the two interact face to face, I'm guessing it'd be an interesting conversation. The nice part about all their differences is that they seem to disappear when it comes to helping further the craft beer movement, they are both obviously passionate about making good beer and helping others do the same.

I was watching a recent episode of "Drinking Made Easy" (love them or hate them, these guys are at least entertaining) in which Zane Lamprey and Steve McKenna visit the Stone Brewery. In normal fashion, Steve "Steve McKenna's" about 5 taster glasses in quick succession. It's apparent that Greg isn't super happy with this, but he's a good sport. It's also funny to see the other patrons reactions, a few cheer but most have an obvious "WTF?" look on their faces at this homeless looking guy pounding some very hoppy and high ABV beer.

A quick personal aside, during parts of his screen time in Beer Wars, Greg is drinking from an awesome Arrogant Bastard glass. It's a tall stemmed pilsner glass, and I knew as soon as I saw it that I needed one. I scoured the internet to find it, but it was out of production and long gone from shelves. Dismayed but not defeated, I emailed them to see where I could get one and was informed that they were remaking them and releasing them in April 2011. Of course, in my incessant checking to see if they had them in stock, I discovered their baby section, and when the $9 glasses (http://stonecompanystore.com/store/product/611/ABA-Specialty-Glass/) came in stock, I purchased one as well as a onesie that says "My Daddy is an Arrogant Bastard" for my daughter (http://stonecompanystore.com/store/product/1657/ABA-My-Daddy..-Onesie-12mos/). $18 well spent and it will likely remain the most expensive onesie in the closet for quite some time.

As with the other two characters I've posted about, I'm running out of things to say. I think Greg's an awesome guy that's really doing a lot for the craft beer industry, if by no other means than publicly chastising the big breweries for forcing their "beer" on the market. I really hope to meet him (and Jim for that matter) in the future and have a chance to talk more about his thoughts on the industry, the competition, and brewing in general. Time will tell, but until then, I'll keep drinking his beer and adorning my big ugly Jeep with his stickers. Bottoms up.

On Beer Wars - Part 2: Jim

2011-04-22T21:40:00.000-07:00

Sam Adams has always annoyed me. Beer that's just not great, seasonals that can be downright atrocious, and ads that make people think they know beer. Yup, brown bottles are better. Yup, sunlight is bad for beer. If you quote that in your argument to me as to why Sam Adams is a superior beer, you might get smacked. However, after Beer Wars, I've got a new found respect for them.
There are a very few select Sam Adams beers that I enjoy. Noble Pils is one of them. White Ale is another. That's about it. I'm just not a fan, I think they're improperly hopped and often dumbed down and lacking in flavors that would properly exemplify the style they're representing. There are a few like the cherry wheat that baffle me. What were they thinking when they made that beer? It tastes like stale robitussin, yet apparently it sells. What?

So why the change of heart? Jim Koch. As far as I can tell, he's a co-founder of Boston Beer, and if Beer Wars is painting an accurate picture of him, he cares about the beer. I'm almost certain that he genuinely believes he makes good beer. I don't get it, but I can respect it. All but one of the people I've discussed his beer with don't really care for it, yet it remains the number one craft brewery in the country. I'm guessing a part of it is marketing, a part of it is the difference in tastes on the eastern seaboard, and the rest I just don't understand, but it works for him. No problem with that.

I also attribute some of the increase in my respect for him to the decrease in respect for Rhonda. I don't blame him in the slightest for not wanting to get involved with her beer. He obviously has a good amount of business acumen (at the very least a solid support staff) and dodged a bullet by passing on Moonshot.

Anyway, there's not a ton more to say. I don't like many of his products but I like him as a person and a member of the beer community, so let's end this with a toast to Jim. Bottoms up.

On Beer Wars - Part 1: Rhonda

2011-04-19T13:48:00.000-07:00

It was inevitable that I come across this movie. I wholly credit my wife, who insisted we watch it one boring evening. Having seen Beerfest more times than I could count, I assumed it'd be similar, not knowing it was a documentary. 5 minutes in I was hooked. Maybe it was the plight of the craft beer poster boy Sam Calagione, maybe it was the portrayal of AB as evil (I'll definitely get to both later), but no matter what it was, it had me.
I've since seen it a few more times and delved much deeper into the industry, and it still stands tall as a pretty accurate and compelling portrayal of the top heavy beer world. That being said, what better place to analyze/blather on about it than my very own beer blog :). I haven't decided how many sections there should be, but as of now it's at least 3, so here's part one: Rhonda.

I won't even try to make a witty intro here. I am thoroughly confused as to what the hell Rhonda wants from this world. Why did you leave Boston beer? As much as I'm not a huge fan of Sam Adams, they're obviously doing something right to be the number one craft brewery in the country. What did you want to do with your life? More to the point, why didn't we ever see your brewery and why do you seem to know fairly little about beer?

I have to assume that Anat Baron had the three tier system in her crosshairs when she decided to include Rhonda. It is an antiquated system that tends to screw the craft brewers and keeps expansion into other states as a luxury that takes a while to accomplish. But she made that point without a lot of help from Rhonda and it just leaves me wondering what her purpose is? Hearing her talk about her 150 accounts (most of the local craft breweries here would be stoked to have that many) as if they're small potatoes makes me think she's just trying to grown into a giant without building a foundation. Seeing her talking to bar owners and liquor store owners makes me wonder what her actual job title is. She seems to be a one-person business that mysteriously has a brewery putting out her products somehow.

I think my biggest gripe is that she seems to care so much about the business and so little about the actual beer. Successful brewers (Sam from DFH, Jim from Boston Beer, Jeff and Kim from New Belgium, Greg from Stone, etc.) care so much about the beer than the business side just comes naturally. They want to share they're interpretation of good beer with the world, and assuming they know what they're doing, it seems to work out alright. I am not at all surprised that Beer Wars was my first time hearing of Moonshot.

I think the kicker was when she was blatantly whoring herself and her beer to the big 3. Big beer has a pretty long history of killing good beer, you really want to throw your hard work into that pile? Again, it just seems like she cares (much) more about the money than the product, which is no way to do things. Putting her in the same light as real, dedicated brewers is a bit offensive to me.

As I was writing this, I googled Moonshot to see what had happened. It appears New Century Brewing was warned by the FDA for their inclusion of caffeine much like Four Loko, Joose, etc. and Moonshot is no longer being produced. Had that been the end of it, I would have had a little pity for Rhonda, but her letter irked me. She specifically called out the others as being marketed to minors and does her best to distance herself from them, which is, in my opinion, a dick move. Sorry Rhonda, you've just joined AB on my shit list. Shouldn't really matter, from the sounds of it you don't make anything I'd want to drink.

That's it for part 1, stay tuned for the rest. I thought of two more while writing this one, so it'll be at least 5 parts now. Bottoms up.

On the demise of Four Loko

2011-04-15T10:40:00.000-07:00

I'm embarrassed that it took me this long to write this. Not because I'm a huge fan of Four Loko or anything, but because I believe they were wrongfully made the scapegoat for some stupid college kids that don't know what they're doing. If they're in college, odds are they can do math. 12% ABV x 24 oz = 5-6 beers worth of booze. You better be ready.
I think there's a key difference between me and the other jaggoffs that are chastising Four Loko like it killed their father. I have actually had it before. More than once for what it's worth. I threw it an unofficial going away party by drinking 2 cans (actually half of four cans, shared with a buddy) and building Legos for New Years Eve. Bad decision? Definitely. Awesome time? Hell yeah! It tastes like death, but it's crazy colored, high in alcohol, and (used to be) caffeinated, the perfect New Years drink. It's also really good at kicking food out of your belly the next day. Anyway, being wide awake while drunk didn't impair my ability to realize that drinking an additional 2 cans would be a terrible decision.

The main point I want to put out there is that it is not up to the FDA to police the booze habits of college kids. Yup, caffeinated alcoholic beverages give you a different kind of drunk. The failure here is not with the companies for not adequately labeling the cans (Four Loko was obviously proud of their 12% ABV), it's with the kids for being, pardon my language, retarded. Throw some blame at the parents too, basic math skills and alcohol knowledge are not too hard to impart. We don't need neo-prohibitionists trying to tell us what is and what isn't safe to drink. Yup, drinking 4 cans of Four Loko will not be good for you. Neither will drinking 4 double vodka Red Bulls, but I can still buy those. Spend my tax dollars elsewhere.

I'll end this rant before I get too irritating, but join me in raising a glass to Four Loko. They were taken from us before their time. Bottoms up.

On the evolution of taste

2011-04-15T10:18:00.000-07:00

I wrote the last post and still had more to say, so here's another. You'll have to pardon the pondering pontification I partake in periodically as I just enjoy talking beer. And sometimes pretending to be an english major.
Anyway, as a beer drinker moves from the college days into later life and higher categories (see the last post if you don't understand), their tastes and pallet have to evolve. I mean, you could try to jump from drinking only Coors to something like Oaked Arrogant Bastard, but you might not enjoy it. You also might die, because that's a hardcore beer that will beat your taste buds into submission. A much more common transition is toeing the water a bit, trying things like Fat Tire and Blue Moon and easing into it.

It takes a while to really understand what you like. With what's available now, you may never be able to fully explore the beer options out there. That being said I'll try to break down the typical progression. Note, these don't correlate with the age you should be while you're drinking them. Don't give toddlers beer:

Infancy - No idea what you like, so you usually just stick with Bud, Miller, or Coors.
Toddler - Starting to notice others out there and try some of the standards (Boston Lager, Fat Tire, Sierra Nevada Pale, etc.).
School age - Discovering local breweries and bigger craft breweries that distribute in your area. Starting to understand styles and tastes. Also testing your boundaries and possibly turning yourself off to things by trying them too early.
Teenage - A good grasp on the standard styles and breweries, you go out of your way to try new styles and continue your education.
College age - Where many people get stuck on a single style or aspect. Hops, malts, whatever. Some get out, some don't.
Adulthood - You know beer. You know what you like, what you don't, and why. The education never ceases, but you're officially a beer snob.
Old age - You like beer so much that you start making your own.

Obviously some people make it all the way to old age, others get stuck at various points. I suppose you could skip steps, but I don't know how well it'd work out. I'd like to focus a bit on the college age, specifically on the hop kick that many people go on. I'm in the midst of it right now. I love IPAs, ESBs, Pales, etc. I just can't get enough. If you look at some breweries *COUGH*stone*COUGH* it seems that they never got out of that phase. Not a bad thing by any means, it just pigeon holes them a bit, but who am I to complain. All that being said I believe it is an imperative part of the evolution of a beer drinker. If you don't go hop crazy for a bit, you're not quite there.

And now a little background on my own edification. The first beer I ever had (barring small sips of my dad's or whatnot) was an ODell Easy Street Wheat. I was not a fan. I followed it with a Coors Light, which I didn't love, but was better at the time. I was lucky enough to have New Belgium close by, so I developed a taste early for their beers and styles. I also did my damndest to try new beers through college, but I definitely bit off more than I could chew and ended up with a fridge full of old beer that I never got around to drinking. Rookie mistake. I moved to Iowa for a year and drank a bunch of light beer, then moved back to Colorado and have been evolving since. As I said, I'm in the midst of a hopathon, but I'm also getting into homebrewing, so I'm straddling adulthood with a foot in college and one in old age.

Well I think that about beats that topic to death, so I'm out. Until next time, bottoms up.

On beer drinkers

2011-04-15T07:57:00.000-07:00

That post last night got me excited again. I enjoy blogging. As it's 7:30 in the morning, this is not a beer review (and I'm guessing a good amount of the coming posts won't be), but a review/critique/whatever of the beer drinker him/herself. Why? Because beer is an equalizer.
It's not often you see someone sipping on a Grey Goose martini next to someone throwing back shots of tequila or someone nursing a glass of 10 year old merlot talking to someone with a bottle of Mad Dog. Yet a Coors light drinker next to a G'Night Imperial Red drinker doesn't really raise any eyebrows. Beer is not too pricey (I rarely pay over $10 a bottle, even for the amazing stuff), it's readily available, and it's such an all encompassing genre of alcoholic beverage that pretty much anyone can enjoy one kind or another.

I'd hazard a guess that there are 4 kinds of beer drinkers:

The big beer drinker - sticks to the big brands, not a fan of micro/craft brews, doesn't usually drink for taste. Usually pretty set with one brand (Bud, Coors, Miller, maybe PBR or Old Style), often drink a lot of them in one sitting.
The semi-adventurous - tries new stuff here and there, not afraid to experiment a bit, appreciates taste but doesn't go out of the way to find oddballs and new beers. Typically sticks to the bigger craft breweries (Sam Adams, Sierra Nevada, New Belgium, etc.) and the tamer styles (Ambers, wheats, pales, etc.).
The beer snob/connoisseur - knows styles, knows breweries, understands what he/she likes, seeks out new stuff, enjoys talking beer.
The home or craft brewer - understand what goes into beer, really gets the process and art of brewing and thus can appreciate beers that he/she doesn't even like. Loves to talk beer and is therefore usually the most annoying of the 4, unless he/she is giving you free beer at time time, in which case you deal with it.

I'm sure I could subdivide more, but I won't get too deep into it. I think the vast majority of beer drinkers fall in the first two categories, though this region is by no means indicative of the distribution across the country. I can get to about 15 breweries with less than an hour of driving, so the number of beer snobs out here is disproportionately high. I blame the water, we have wonderful water that makes wonderful beer. Anyway, getting off topic...

One of the things I've come to notice as of late is that a lot of the category 3 and 4 people come from the engineering and science fields. It makes sense, the brewing process is complex and has a ton of knobs and switches to mess with to get exactly what you want out. Anyone with a scientifically geared mind could definitely have some fun.

If you haven't noticed, there's a craft brew movement going on. There are beer bars popping up all over, TV shows about brewing, magazines, books, stores, kits, etc. There are over 1700 craft breweries in the country with more popping up daily. It's a great time to be a beer drinker and a great time to recruit more into categories 2 and 3 so these breweries can keep making great beer. Buy a friend a good beer and introduce them to better taste, they'll probably thank you. They might barf on you, but that likely means you bought them something hardcore after they'd had like 9 beers, in which case you should plan better. Go out of your way to support your local breweries too. I know the $18 case of Miller Light is tempting, but think how much more you will enjoy the local stuff. Light beer is boring (and in some cases evil), so free your taste buds and get adventurous.

Also, go see Beer Wars if you haven't, I'll probably have a post on it soon. Until then, bottoms up (I had to go look up what I ended older posts with because it's been so damn long since I last posted).

New Beginnings

2011-04-14T18:32:00.000-07:00

I feel it's time for this blog to evolve. It started with me as a bum (unemployed) drinking a lot of meh beer. Over the past few months, I have upgraded significantly.
I have some feelings that might be polarizing (I no longer drink anything made by AB-Inbev) but I also understand beer much more. I'm starting to delve into the process (4 homebrew batches and counting) and the business (volunteering some time with a local microbrewery). All in all I've stepped it up many notches. So it's time for a new beginning. I can't guarantee I'll keep up with this (I've proven to be a pretty piss-poor blogger so far), but I want to. I have a journal of sorts with 35 new mini-reviews and I go out of my way to try new beers. I'm probably averaging 5 or so a week. I'm doing what I can to slide into the ranks of real brewers and beer fanatics. We'll see what happens.

As an official kick off, here's a mini review of the second non-homebrew I've had a hand in producing. Unfortunately it wasn't this batch, as it is delightful, but hopefully the next one will be equally as tasty. It's a rye pale ale called Stimulator from a little micro-brewery called Pateros Creek (www.pateroscreekbrewing.com). I got a growler as a thank you for some volunteer work and I've decided to knock it out tonight. It's dry hopped with about 3 lbs/10 barrels and it shows, it's got a lovely, albeit understated hoppiness. The rye is definitely there, but it's not overwhelming. My particular growler waited 5 days before being reopened, and has therefore lost a bit of carbonation, but that's not a bad thing. The light carbonation allows the flavors to come through crisper. Slight citrus notes, light malts, slightly opaque and golden straw-like colors, wonderful aroma. All in all a very well rounded beer. This is the first PCBC beer I ever had (at a great beer dinner at Matador Grill) and it's still my favorite. They make a great brown porter as well, and it's a close second, but my hop-kick is definitely leaning me towards Stimulator.

If you want to try this beer, you can get some at Matador and the Old Town Old Chicago (and perhaps some others, I can't remember at the moment). I highly recommend it. And with that, let's start anew and get this bastard rolling again!

Hey Look, a new post!

2010-08-07T19:04:00.000-07:00

Yep, a mere 7 months later and I'm back! This will be a short one though. Picked up a 40 of Bud Light and a can of Four Loko Cranberry Lemonade as my wife is out of town and I'm bored. The 40 was great. The Four Loko tastes like Tussin and Vodka. If you're into that, awesome. I'm not. I'm choking the rest down. That's all :).

Four Loko Fruit Punch - Back to the beginning

2010-01-08T19:08:00.000-08:00

If you remember the first drink I had, it was a very girly red punch like substance called Max Vibe that did a good measure on my liver and my sobriety. If you don't remember it, click over to the next page, it really wasn't long ago. Anyway, it was, like this one, a member of a growing faction of heavily caffeinated, high ABV, fruit flavored tall boys available in liquor store coolers across the country. They're obviously aimed at the fairer sex, but who cares, I like fruit punch and it's Friday night, I'll do what I want. I was hoping to make tonight another two-fer, but I remembered on the drive home that I've already reviewed Mickey's and Bud Light. Touche universe, you've saved me from making an ass of myself (again) on the internet. So I'll throw all my efforts at this one, the camo-canned kick in the face called Four Loko Fruit Punch.

I must first note that the above ad is, in fact, outdated. It claims 11% ABV, while my can says 12%. They're headed in the right direction, and very obviously trying to keep up with the competition *cough*Max Vibe*cough*. There are also like seven flavors of Four Loko, though I've only stumbled upon four thus far. This one is fruit punch flavored, which is dead on, as this smells exactly like Hawaiian Punch. A first sip reveals that the smell is pretty indicative of flavor, it's an adult version of the aforementioned beverage. That being said, how different can two 12% ABV, fruit punch flavored malt beverages be? This tastes exactly like Max Vibe, perhaps a tad sweeter, but I probably couldn't tell the difference if I didn't see the can. They're also at the same price point, which is another gripe of mine. Why do they cost 3 bucks? Yeah, it's not exactly breaking the bank, but it's a tall boy of vodka and Hawaiian Punch, how much can that cost to make, 18 cents or so? I'd say the $1.50 to $2.00 price point would make these more appealing, keep them competitive with the dirty 40's. Also, since I'm complaining, what's with the camo can? There is no tie to anything related to the military. Explain yourself Four Loko.

One of my favorite things about cheap alcohol is the simplicity of the labels. I have no info on where the ingredients came from, how they were combined, or what I should be tasting, which means I have none of that info to regurgitate to you. This is nothing more than a "premium malt beverage" that boasts a good kick of booze and an incredibly vague "fruit punch" flavor. The simplicity is hard to match, and is a great way to start a Friday night. That is literally all I have to say on the subject, it's sweet, it's red, it's cheap, and it'll get you buzzing. Nuf said.

Final Grade: C+. Why? Because it's the same grade I gave to Max Vibe. They're damn near indiscernible. On the off chance that this is more or less expensive than Max Vibe (or Joose for that matter), choose the cheaper of the two. Or something else. You'll be equally disappointed either way.

Girly Grade: A-. Why? See above. The girls (and the lady-like-men) are the people that Four Loko want drinking this stuff. Don't disappoint them. They will find you. By the way, they're from La Crosse, Wisconsin, just in case you care.

Another random note from the website of this "Four" company (here for those too lazy for google), their loading pages indicate that they seem to think that 1.00% is equivalent to 100%. I challenge your logic Four, as 100 is, in fact, 100 times 1.00. Crazy Wisconsinites. Anyway, one of these days I'll pick up a mixed 6 pack and go nuts, but until then, expect about a review a week from me. Perhaps less. I haven't started my new job yet and I have bills to pay, so beer is taking a bit of a back seat. But don't fear, soon enough I'll be back in the workforce and back to doing a number on my liver for your reading pleasure. Until next time, bottoms up.

-The Drunken Dane

Rolling Rock - The Little Can that Could

2010-01-04T20:22:00.000-08:00

You know what's damn hard to find? A picture of a rolling rock can. Don't believe me? Go google it, it's tricky. I'm not even sure this is a can, but for the sake of time, we'll go ahead and say it is. Back to the task at hand. There are few beers that successfully transition to cans. The vast majority are the cheap light beers, i.e. Keystone Light, Bud Light, Miller Light, and so on, that rarely start in bottles. Still, there are a couple "higher echelon" beers that pull it off. Take a look at anything by Oskar Blues, a brewery that has successfully pulled it off for seven years, or the two offerings by New Belgium, Fat Tire and Sunshine Wheat. It can be done, though it's not easy. So when I stumbled upon a 30 pack of Rolling Rock cans that came in cheaper than even the low brow beers (Keystone Light and Busch Light), I was intrigued enough to bite. So here goes a 17 dollar gamble.

I've always put the Rolling Rock label a couple notches above the standard Anheuser beers. Oddly enough (I blame the green label), I'd put it up against Heineken or Grolsch. It's a good tasty beer that just seems a bit classier than Bud Light. The "Extra Pale" label always made me laugh, as this is by no means a pale ale, but it has a tad more hops than it's oddly more expensive brethren, and thus makes it a more flavorful brew. It's definitely a malty beer, and one that sits heavier than a light beer. Though sold in a 30 pack, I can't match the drinking pace that I usually keep up with my other favorite 30 rack, Keystone Light. The explanation could be in the numbers, the Rock has 142 calories with a 4.6% ABV, while the stone is 103 calories and 4.13% ABV, so even when standardized, Rolling Rock is indeed a heavier beer. But is that a bad thing? Not necessarily. It's easy enough to hide the 30 pack in your fridge and pretend you bought a sixxer. It's actually just what this economy needs. High five Rolling Rock (I won't give Anheuser credit, I'm still holding that grudge), at least someone is trying to dig us out of this hole with style.

As I said, this 30 pack is now on shelves alongside the cheap-o's, and from what I've seen, it's a good two bucks cheaper. It's like 4 free cans, and of a tasty beer to boot. How long it has been there, I don't know, but I will say I hope it stays. Since 2006, Rolling Rock has been brewed by Anheuser Busch in Newark, NJ, not the iconic and original Latrobe glass lined tanks. Has the taste changed? I have no idea, I've only been legal since '07, though I'd say that acquisition is definitely to blame for the cans. I can't seem to find the actual date of the addition of cans to the lineup (I didn't look that hard), but I'd hazard a guess that it was after the move. The beer itself has been around since 1939, and I can see why, it fills a relatively empty gap between the mass produced and the craft beers. It's a dangerous gap, as I don't think there are a ton of shoppers that seek out beers like this, but hey, if you can sway me, you can probably sway many other Americans. I'm easy.

Final Grade: B+. My choice in a 30 pack, but as it is a tweener, it struggles to find a spot. I won't play beer pong with it, and I won't drink it with a nice meal, but it goes well with pizza or hot pockets. I feel pretty ok about offering it to friends though, which explains the relatively good grade.

Girly Grade: A-. I really feel like this is where this beer could shine. It's not a dopplebock or a heavy porter or anything, but it's more respectable than Bud Light, and dammit, it's more affordable too. Sorority girls, take note, next time you're shopping for pledge week, pick up some Rolling Rock for the not-so-girly-girls among you.

Take note of this occasion, I have officially reviewed a beer that is not only available and affordable, but very tasty too. I've broken new ground for this blog, and I intend to continue. Bring on the Sam Adams. Bring on the Big Sky. I'm ready. Until next time, bottoms up.

-The Drunken Dane

Coors Winterfest - A Seasonal Delight

2010-01-01T22:33:00.000-08:00

I'm kind of a dick. I started this blog with two cheap non-beers that are more suited in a sorority fridge than the claw of a hardened beer snob. I followed it up with a super low volume local beer that you'll probably never even see, let alone drink. Then I moved to Bud Light, the non-beer-drinkers beer. Finally, I closed out the decade with an exclusive brew that's are already extinct. I've not yet been a man of the people. I've avoided the Sam Adams, the Sierra Nevadas, the widely available stuff and gone with things that you just can't find unless they're already gracing the shelves in your fridge. So to start the new year, I'll do the exact same thing. I'll tell you what I thought of Coors' Winterfest.

From the get go this beer kind of screams exclusivity. I didn't even know it existed until about 20 minutes ago, and I've lived here for at least 2 winters as a beer drinker of legal age. The second line on the box and bottle reads "Sold Only In Colorado." The bottles are individually numbered (I'm drinking number 694 of 85248 for the record) and they made a tad over 14000 six packs. More than Frambozen, but far less than many of the other winter brews on store shelves. A beer of the people this is not, at least in availability. But that's where it ends.

For starters, I admire Coors for advising the consumer to drink this in a glass with 2 inches of head, but I really don't think it matters much. Yes, the fairly dark amber color might scare away the timid sippers, but it's apparent after the first tip of the glass that this is a mild beer that can be consumed straight from the bottle. As far as Coors beers go, it's exactly what I'd expect for a winter beer. I'd liken it to Budweiser's American Ale, a timid attempt at what could be a very robust beer. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying it, but it's a bit light for a cold winter night.

The use of different hops and malt is apparent, Moravian Two-Row Barley Malt and German Hops from the "Hallertau Region" to be specific. Closer inspection reveals that this Hallertau region is actually the first and the biggest hop producing region in the world, so much like the "Triple Hops Brewing" of Miller, the ad guys at Miller Coors are once again trying to swindle gullible American consumers. Or something like that. This inspection did, however, reveal that this beer is likely a German Lager style, which I would tend to agree with (the bottle only calls it a lager). It is by no means a malty or hoppy beer, but relative to Coors Light, it's a step in the right direction. The range of flavors is good, and I'd imagine it'd go great with a wide range of foods or by itself. As I near the bottom of the glass, the flavors are becoming more apparent. It seems like it should be consumed a bit warmer than any other Coors product, though that isn't noted anywhere. The last sip went down smooth and easy, not much differently than the first.

Final Grade: B-. They had the opportunity for something great and only fell short by a bit. I don't regret buying the 6 pack (even at a relatively steep $8.50), but if I'm looking for a winter beer in the near future, I'll likely go for something heavier to warm my belly. Give it a try if you're feeling festive, I can damn near guarantee you won't hate it.

Girly Grade: B. I'd say this is arguably one of the most drinkable winter beers for those with "lighter tongues." Tasty, not too heavy, and just enough flavor to keep most drinkers happy. I can't say it'll compete with the warm mixed drinks that this season brings, but when those run out, reach for a Winterfest and act like a beer snob.

A final note for anyone reading this in Utah. I spent New Years Eve and morning in Salt Lake, and after seeing your liquor stores, I'm feeling a bit sorry for you. For those of you not in the know, if you want full strength beer or liquor in Utah, expect to pay 1.5 to 2 times what you'd pay in the neighboring states and don't expect the same selection. Tough city for a beer snob. That's all for this New Years night, expect more in the coming weeks. Until then, bottoms up.

-The Drunken Dane

Dark Kriek - Gone, But Not Forgotten

2009-12-18T19:59:00.000-08:00

For those of you not familiar with New Belgium's "Lips of Faith" series, I'll enlighten you a bit. It's a very limited run, often not even enough to keep the Fort Collins residents happy, and there are usually only 2-4 offerings available. For quite a while, the only place you could get these was the brewery, though they've recently started putting them in bombers available at a few liquor stores around town. As far as I know, there is only one permanent Lips of Faith, a sour brown ale called La Folie. We'll discuss that a bit later. These beers fetch a heavy premium, usually between 9 and 20 dollars a bottle, but more often than not, they're worth it. Before I ramble too much, we'll get to the task at hand, one of the best Lips of Faith in the series, and one that is likely almost all gone: Dark Kriek.

My first sip of this beer (pronounced dark creek by the way) was in early April of this year, when we stumbled upon a bottle at a local liquor store while visiting Fort Collins (we hadn't moved back yet). The blend, which consists of 65% ale brewed with cherries and 35% wood aged brown ale (translation: La Folie), was unique, and worth a 9 dollar gamble. We brought the bottle back to Iowa and shared it while watching the fireflies one night, and quickly fell in love with it. Now keep in mind, it was already out of the brewery by that time, so it was on it's way out. We had friends in Iowa that visited Fort Collins for vacation in May, and we asked them to bring us a couple more bottles. They obliged, and again, we shared them (this time with the friends as well) under the stars. We thought this was the last we'd ever have of this delicious beer.

Flash forward to a couple weeks after we moved back (mid-September), while perusing the shelves of our neighborhood liquor store we found a bottle hiding in a dark corner of a cooler and grabbed it. We asked the clerk if they had any more, and sure enough, it was the last bottle. Chalk it up to fate. We decided to hold on to that bottle until I got a job. Flash forward again to today. Coincidentally I accepted an offer about 5 hours ago, so that bottle has since been emptied into two globe glasses (you really can't drink it any other way). I'll admit, it's different than that first bottle. It's aged over the months, a bit of the cherry flavor has dwindled, but the nice sour backbone is still there and there is no skunkiness. La Folie has a very notable sour note, enough so to feel that twinge in the corners of your jaw, but the dulled and slightly sweetened Dark Kriek is a much more palatable beer that can be enjoyed by a much larger audience.

If I were to drink this out of a glass without the bottle staring me in the face, I might not guess that it had a heavy cherry content. It's just not that strong, which is a start contrast from it's cousin, Transatlantique Kriek. This beer is a reddish amber, where Transatlantique is very red. I'll admit, I don't know exactly what's in that one (something foreign as it costs twice as much), but it's very different, albeit still a good drink. Maybe I'll review that someday. The 8% ABV is great, but never quite realized unless you drink the full bottle yourself, as I don't know of anything that this beer could follow or precede. This could easily be paired with food, but I'd go with a smaller snack or appetizer instead of a meal. Maybe some cheese or something. I really don't know, I'm just not that classy.

Anyway, I'm rambling and talking like a snob again. Beer pong. Jager bombs. Strip joints and late night taco bell. Much better. I'll finish this up by advising the reader to try some of the Lips of Faith series. To save some big money, go try them at the brewery first to see what you like, then check the liquor stores later to see if it made it to bottles. These offerings are an easy way to expand your beer tastes in a different way than just grabbing random six packs of the shelf. They are also usually quite tasty, and are perpetually changing, so if you find one you don't like, wait a couple weeks for the next one to come along. Also, if you want to read more about Dark Kriek, check here.

Final Grade: A. I would have gone A+, as I love it, but it's all but extinct and will probably never come back. If you can find this beer, buy it all, and if you hate it, call me and I'll buy it off you. It's a beer drinkers beer and will probably be good into the middle of next year. If you never have the chance to try it, I'm sorry, but get to the brewery and try La Folie to get a bit of a taste.

Girly Grade: a qualified B+. If you like red wine, you'll probably enjoy this, as they have a lot in common. If you're more of a Smirnoff Ice and Bacardi drinker, avoid it, the flavor will probably be too much for you. Either way, as I said above, buy any you can find, and maybe sell it to me.

I'm sorry to see the last sip of this beer disappear into my belly, but it gives me hope. New Belgium is a daring and experimental brewery, and they tend to bring unique, but still drinkable flavors to the market. I have no doubt that they'll continue to make some kick ass Lips of Faith offerings, and I'll continue to drink them up with glee. Enjoy the season, talk to you next year. Until then, bottoms up.

-The Drunken Dane

Bud Light: Why not?

2009-12-15T19:36:00.000-08:00

So there's a new Scrubs on (vaguely reminiscent of the failed Saved By The Bell college try) and I've had a long day rescuing my handicapped Jeep from the clutches of the Colorado mountains. Thus, I need a beer. Yes, I have one Frambozen left. Yes, I have a bomber of Dark Kriek (one of the last ten or so in the world I believe, saving it for a special occasion). Those are just not quite up to par. A night like this needs substance. A night like this needs class. A night like this needs Bud Light.

You'll notice they recently changed the can design. I hate it. There was a certain charm to having to tilt your head ninety degrees to read the label (like anyone actually did it). There was also a time when there weren't stupid acronyms for beer. I recently heard the phrase "Bee Ell Squared." It was in reference to Bud Light Lime. My cousin-in-law almost died that day. But that's a different story altogether. This can has a "BL" on the other side. But, now that I look closer, it also has a vertically typed "Bud Light" and a vertical "BL,", so those will go ahead and cancel out. So just a little hate for this can.

I recently interviewed for a management position with Anheuser-InBev (Bud). They used a pretty good chunk of my funemployment. Then they gave me the BS dismissal email. Bastards. But I did learn some info on the inside. For instance, the market share of Bud Light is unbelievably large. The Fort Collins AB brewery has two brewhouses, one for Bud Light and one for the other 100+ beers they brew. They have a lime version, a clamato version, a wheat version, and probably a few others that just slip away from my mind right now. Though I can't confirm this, I'm guessing it's the most consumed beer in the states. Also, if wikipedia is correct, it's only 4.2% ABV. That's kind of crappy. I didn't know that. Moving on.

Odds are, if you're reading this, you've consumed multiple cases of this beer. I'm probably well over the hundred can mark of this so called "BL." And I have no regrets. It's a pretty tasty beer. Where Coors Light turned to a skunky mess once you cross into the central time zone, Bud Light had a backup brewery in St. Louis which lead to a still very fresh tasting brew. Multiple bars in Iowa (ugh, Iowa) had dollar beer nights, and on those nights I would almost always consume multiple Bud Lights. Fond memories there. It's not too bitter or hoppy, but it's got flavor. A nice malty flavor. Kind of like a crazy light wheat beer, but not quite. If I knew more about the brewing and the beer itself, I'd go on about it like a professional douche. But I don't, so I'll say this: From the first sip to the last drop you shake out of the can, it's a very drinkable beer. I believe that's their new slogan. Drinkability or something. I'm still bitter. Bastards. It's obviously a light beer, but it's above the ranks of Busch Light, Keystone Light, etc. It has flavor. It has a personality. It's just good. Especially in multiples of six.

Final Grade: B. As I've said, I enjoy a heavier beer. I also enjoy Coors Light, which is painfully fresh here. I also hold a grudge. Bastards. That being said, it's still tasty enough to consume, en masse at times. I can almost guarantee I'll put down at least a twelve pack over the holidays. The only thing the brand is really missing is a larger container to sell it in (something akin to the new keg-like versions of Coors Light and Miller Light). The price, quality, and sheer availability of fresh cans of Bud Light means it passes my test. For now.

Girly Grade: A-. I'd say this is arguably the best "girly" beer. To reiterate, very drinkable, cheap, and available in a lime flavor. What else could a sorority girl want.

The holidays are rapidly approaching and I can't guarantee I'll be keeping up with this. I'll definitely be drinking, but I'm not sure the netbook will always be at my side, and, as I said, I'll only be posting if I'm drinking at the same time. Only time will tell. If I get ambitious, we'll talk again soon. If not, we'll talk next year. Until then, bottoms up.

-The Drunken Dane

New Belgium Frambozen: The Secret Seasonal

2009-12-12T21:23:00.000-08:00

If you're a beer nut like me, you're well acquainted with New Belgium. You've had enough Fat Tire to know it like your favorite book, you've tried the majority of their other offerings, and you are always delighted to find their new seasonal gracing the shelves of your local liquor store. They have a couple of old timers in their seasonal lineup (Skinny Dip in the summer, 2 Below for winter) and have been playing with the spring and fall seasonals for a while (they are currently Mighty Arrow and Hoptober, though they will likely change again next year). But few outside of Northern Colorado know of this well kept secret. It's a bonus winter seasonal that appears around Thanksgiving and is usually long gone by New Years Eve. It is Frambozen.

Beer is a very sensory experience, and more often than not it is seen before anything else. That's the first obvious difference, the beer is only sold in 6 packs that trade the standard New Belgium designs for a rather plain, dark red carton adorned by a fairly simple wreath. When you pull out the first bottle, you'll notice that design carries over on a similarly decorated, unassuming bottle. To paraphrase the description, Frambozen is flemmish for raspberry, the fruit used in the fermentation of this brown ale. It is to be served relatively warm (50 degrees F) in a glass, and once poured, the rich red color makes this the obvious choice for consumption. It's a relatively strong beer at 6.5% ABV and has a slightly sour scent.

The first sip confirms the hint of sourness that comes with the raspberry flavor, but is downright fantastic. To put it in simpleton terms, this is Chrismakkuh in a glass (yes, I just made an O.C. reference and no, I'm not ashamed of it). It's a dark, deceivingly simple beer that is great to enjoy by a campfire, after a day of skiing, or while watching the fat Colorado snowflakes make their way down to earth It's a fairly consistent beer throughout, especially when poured into a glass, and the last drink is no better or worse than the first.. If you don't appreciate fruit beers, this might not be for you, as the raspberries obviously give it a slightly sweet flavor. It's definitely not as sweet as some of my other favorite fruit beers (Kona Waialua Wheat, Leinenkeugels Sunset Wheat, etc.), but it still falls in the category. Nevertheless, if you're feeling adventurous, give it a shot, it's worth the risk.

It's not a sipping beer like some of the hoppier options in this region, but it is one to be consumed slowly and, in my opinion, without any food accompaniment. I'd also only drink one per session, but that may just be a personal preference. It's a bit ironic that the better beers are often best in moderation, I really think more than 2 or so of these might ruin the belly warming effect that New Belgium gave them. It might also give you some gnarly red puke that could stain your or your friends carpet, so be careful.

This got a bit more froo froo than I would have liked, but what can I say, I love this beer. If you want to learn more, check out the official Frambozen site here. If you want to try it for yourself, move quick, supplies are definitely dwindling and it won't be back for a year. I know they have some left at the brewery, or go hunt down a 6 pack for yourself and your loved ones. Better yet, hunt down a case, this stuff is great and will keep you toasty through spring. It's not cheap ($10.50 for a sixer), but it's worth it.

Final Grade: A. I would have given it the coveted A+, but the price kicks it down that partial grade. Still up on my top shelf of beers, but just not at the tippy top. I'll probably give out like six A+'s over the course of this blog, so don't worry, A means go buy this soon, it's worth your hard earned/stolen money.

Girly Grade: B-. It's a hearty beer, not for the casual drinker that just enjoys the occasional Bud Light with dinner. If you can enjoy the heavier and more unique flavors, it's for you, otherwise maybe just stick with the Bud Light. Also, in case you didn't notice, this is a new grade, aimed a bit more at the non-seasoned drinkers among us. Be you an actual girl or just someone who isn't crazy about beer like me, pay closer attention to this grade.

A few more ending caveats. I'll be doing all I can to write these blogs as I'm drinking the subject beverage. I can ramble on for days from memory on the beers and other booze I've had in the past, but it's just not the same unless I'm actually drinking it at the time. I also added an A List to the front page, that's the express train to taste town. I guarantee it'll be packed with some hard to find, but crazy good drinks. That's all for now, until next time, bottoms up.

-The Drunken Dane

A brief aside before we continue

2009-12-12T08:17:00.000-08:00

Before I get too deep into this, I think I should give the reader a better idea of my tastes and thoughts for this blog. As I may or may not have mentioned, I recently relocated to Loveland, Colorado. There are three big reasons I love this area: the mountains, the food, and the beer. This is (in my humble opinion) one of the best regions in the world for the educated beer drinker. Two of the worlds biggest breweries, Coors and Anheuser Busch, are less than an hour away, and the area is peppered with craft breweries, including the 3rd largest in the country, New Belgium. For those curious like me, numbers one and two are Samuel Adams and Sierra Nevada, respectively. Other notables in the area are Boulder, Breckenridge, O'Dells, and Left Hand, all of which are just a quick jaunt down I-25.

When you put all that together, a trip to the liquor store usually yields an impressive selection of beers, most of which were brewed less than a month ago. Fresher beer is tastier beer, which is especially true for some of the lower ABV, more mass produced beers like Coors and Budweiser. I know for a fact that once you cross into the Central Time Zone, Coors Light goes downhill fast. The downside to all of this is the fact that a good amount of the products I review may not be available outside of the state (or even the county for some of the rarer ones). I'd encourage you to look into what you can get in your area (feel free to send over any beers you think should be reviewed), and maybe take a trip out here to sample some of the fantastic beers the west has to offer.

On to the actual content, I'd say the vast majority of the stuff I'll be drinking and subsequently writing about will be beer. I enjoy a good single malt scotch or cocktail, but beer is my drink of choice. That's not to say I won't take suggestions, but I don't trust my knowledge enough to get too deep into wines or other spirits. I'll also do my best to avoid getting too snobby or dry, blogs aren't exactly the highest form of journalism, and I'll treat this as such. I've decided that a grading system would probably work well, so let's just go with the good old fashioned letter grades (A, B, C, D, F). I'll do +/- as well to further distinguish the drinks. We'll see how that goes.

That's about all for now, as I said, feel free to send over suggestions and I'll see what I can do to find them. I'll be back soon with more reviews, likely of slightly classier beers. Until then, bottoms up.

-The Drunken Dane

Round 2: The Mickey's Locomotive

2009-12-11T21:14:00.000-08:00

As I said less than an hour ago, I purchased a big boy bottle of Mickey's alongside my 24 oz can of Max Vibe. I'm about halfway through the aforementioned copy of "The Blindside" and I'm feeling pretty good. The Max Vibe was tasty, but I'll admit, the Mickey's is more up my alley.

The last time I had Mickey's, it was in a 12 oz grenade after a tallboy of High Life at a Mae concert. They have since broken up, and my tastes have since evolved to a thicker, meatier beer, but I can still enjoy a good ole Mickey's.

I'll admit, my taste buds are a bit rounded from the Max Vibe, but I feel that I'm still sober enough to properly judge this brew. I'd also note that it is labeled as a "Fine Malt Liquor" as opposed to a beer, so it's not in the same league as say, Keystone Light, but it's not a horrible drink. Recently Rolling Rock has taken to cans, often at a lower price than other, possibly inferior brands, like Keystone and Busch Light. I'd liken this brew to Rolling Rock, not always appreciated as it should be, but always pleasant to the taste buds. They may have brewed it outside of it's ideal range, but that doesn't mean it isn't an enjoyable drink.

I have a bunch of stories relating to my first few brews as an "adult," but I'll save those for something actually labeled "beer." I'll end this much like I ended my review for Max Vibe, with a qualified recommendation. Once upon a time, when I was a cheap college student, I loved cheap beer. I have since "enlightened" my tastes a bit, but I can still enjoy a good cheap beer of sorts. If you're anything like me, you won't turn your nose up at a 3 dollar, 40 ounce bottle of brew, especially if it brings back some good sentiments and warm feelings. But if you're not, remember where you came from. You couldn't always enjoy a bottle of Delerium, and there's no shame in returning to your roots. Drink up and enjoy, regardless of price.

Final Grade: C-. Bottom line, it'll keep you happy, but I'd prefer a similar sized can/bottle of Busch Light (they're about the same price) or similar. If you want to reminisce and trash it up, pick up an 8 pack of grenades and go wild, but if you're looking for something with a better flavor, scoot over to the next cooler, it'll likely have some classier options.

Girly Grade: B. Easy to drink, cheap, really not a lot to object to. Not super tasty, but it'll get the job done and is awesome enough to pass in my book.

Until next time, bottoms up.

-The Drunken Dane

The inaugural drink: Max Vibe

2009-12-11T19:59:00.000-08:00

It's not often that I'm compelled to blog, but occasionally I get the urge, and after a quick google of "max vibe" led me to www.thedrunkpirate.com, I decided that this was a good use of my time. Everything that appears here is the direct result of that awesome man and his choice of internet ventures.

Here's my preface: I'm a bum. I quit a very lucrative job in the middle of Iowa to pursue a happier life in Colorado. Though I am happier, I am a poor bum, which leads me to this post. After a fantastic $22 dollar dinner at a local chinese restaurant, my wife and I decided to get something tasty to drink while watching a pirated copy of "The Blindside." She went for the perennial favorite, a bomber of New Belgium Fat Tire. I was feeling a bit more frisky, so I went big and got myself a 24 oz can of "Red" Max Vibe and a 40 of Mickey's. Yep, I'm a classy Dane.

So here I sit, about 30 minutes and 10 oz in. I'd put Max Vibe in the category of most girly drinks, red and fruity. The 12% ABV is a bit of a surprise, I haven't had a "girly drink" in a while, and the last I remember, they topped out closer to 6%. That being said, I'm feeling it a bit. Obviously not enough to screw up my typing, but enough to have to go back and fix a couple words. It's got a bit of a grapefruit feel to it, though that might just be the heavy booze content kicking me in the uvula. Throw in a bit of cherry and a flick to the brain stem and I think we've got a recipe. Don't forget to add in the wonderful scent of Fat Tire burps and puppy farts, they really complete the experience.

I'd probably recommend this to my female friends, but not many of my male counterparts. The blatantly fruitacious flavor just doesn't vibe with the old, single malt scotch tastes that most of them possess. That's not to say it's not doing the job, 3 bucks for a good buzz is a hell of a deal, it's just not a "normal" Friday night. Anyway, as my obviously older and better drank counterpart at The Drunk Pirate decreed, this is a good deal. The caffeine is a good antidote to the heavy alcohol content, though I've got a buzz, I'm not about to nod off. If you like this style of alcoholic beverage, I'd definitely recommend purchasing this one. The same goes if you're just jonesing for a trashy night, it will get the job done with style.

Final Grade: C+. Not my favorite, but the ABV and the price bump this into an acceptable category. Pick one up if you find them, I doubt they would get skunky over time and a can would come in handy for a cheap night that you don't want to end early.

Girly Grade: A-. This is definitely the target demographic here, the casual drinker that is partial to fruity drinks instead of heavy, complex brews. Cheap, readily available, what more could you ask for. Win.

Until next time (likely in about 30 minutes with my 40 of Mickey's), bottoms up.

-The Drunken Dane